Self Doubt

Well it seems another two months have passed. While it seems 2 months ago I felt there had been progress, I wish I could say the same about the last 2 months that have gone by. Procrastination is a vicious cycle, the more you do it, the more it seems to affect you until you come to a point where it seems you just can’t accomplish even the smallest tasks. I’ve also thought about maybe just quitting this whole venture and just settling for a job like everyone else. It would just be so much easier. I’m frustrated at myself that I can’t seem to progress on this even if I somewhat have an idea of what I need to do. I’m still not fully convinced this will actually work out so I’m hesitant to do the work and end up with just a failed attempt. The worst part is that I know that taking action even if it means failure is still taking steps in realising my dream. Many would say failure is just part of the process but the possibility of failing is paralysing me into inaction. Part of the problem seems to be that instead of focusing on one idea and taking action I continually bounce back and forth from one idea to another hoping finally one that I am assured will bring me success.  I’m currently thinking about publishing these journal entries, in a blog about my attempt to be a professional speaker.  I’m hoping to be able to create an on-line community that would help people in similar situations to overcome the obstacles in their path and maybe connect with similarly minded people facing similar issues.

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